Why Changing for the Better is Hard

We crave familiarity and patterns. To avoid decision fatigue, we have an amazing ability to automate habits so we have less mindshare to give to each little decision in our day. Consider brushing your teeth. There are a ton of decisions that have become automated that you no longer think about. Where is my toothbrush? Where is the toothpaste? How do I get it set up? How do I brush? Do I spit out the foam? How do I clean the toothbrush? You likely don’t remember thinking about any of these questions when you brushed your teeth. Because we’ve created a habit that neatly puts all these micro decisions into one streamlined automated folder in your brain. It’s familiar, consistent, and you can preserve your mindshare for more important decision making.

However, that same amazing adaptation also makes change very difficult to embrace. It is uncomfortable, unfamiliar, and requires more brain power to process because we’re working on unlearning habits and reconditioning new ones. It can feel like a lot of work, especially if the new healthy behavior seems harder than then status quo.

So even if you’re making a change for the better, like eating more whole foods or getting your heart rate up a few times each week, you will feel friction in the behavior change. It’s new! Your mind craves familiar. So what wins? Old behaviors or new?

Aligning the two is the best course of action. Habit stack smaller new behaviors with already established ones so it’s not completely unfamiliar. Add movement to the time you spend brushing your teeth like standing stretches, shoulder rolls, or even squats. Keep your veggies in the front of your fridge and on the same shelf as the most common things you reach for so you make contact with them when you reach for a snack. Associate stopping at a red light with visualizing your thoughts slowing down while do you a quick body scan until the light turns green. These smaller behavior changes will be easier to adopt into your familiarity patterns day to day versus making huge behavioral changes that feel unfamiliar and too great to adopt long term.