Toxic Relationships
We are accustomed to hearing about tips on handling toxic relationships with ex lovers, bad bosses or mother-in-laws. But when was the last time you objectively assessed your relationships with food, exercise, environment, or stress?
These relationships are interwoven into our daily routines so frequently that it often becomes automated. Previously healthy relationships can slowly move toward unhealthy without much thought.
Just as we find our squad to vent about an ex, you can and should vent about these influences in your life. Think about it like a friend talking to you about her relationships. Often, conversations follow a pattern of active listening followed by discussing solutions. If your good friend came to you and told you she was struggling with her boss, the conversation would likely cover questions and possible solutions.
“Was there a moment when you noticed a shift?”
“Have you felt that other employees are feeling the same?”
“Have you brought up your feelings with your boss?”
“If addressing it doesn’t work, would you consider looking into alternative solutions like shifting departments or looking for a new job?”
All those are questions are from a concerned friend looking to help. These types of questions also should be applied to our relationships with our own health. When working with a client, my first questions are exploratory. I am seeking to understand the influences of relationships in your life and how they dynamically create the influences that you navigate daily. Consider these questions:
“How do you feel about food? How do you feel about eating?”
“Why do you move your body? How does it make you feel?”
“On a scale of 1-5, how much stress do you feel each day? How much stress do you WANT to feel each day?”
“When have you felt successful in your health journey? When do you feel unsuccessful?”
These likely created some complex answers for you. Very rarely do clients have answers that align with how they want to be living versus how they are currently living. So no wonder it’s difficult to eat well, exercise often, and be healthy! You are feeling pulled in all different directions with changing goals and processes.
Simplifying, clarifying, and creating an achievable goal-supportive system to put in place in your current lifestyle is the solution. Addressing your relationships the best place to start. Take some time today to consider your relationships like a good friend would do for you. Look at it in a lens of hope and positive change. Write down your discoveries and how they make you feel.